” I had never asked how long “getting settled” would take, but Jeremy’s time with us came to extend over a year, and still there were no signs of his departure. I did wonder from time to time just when Jeremy would leave us, but it was with a feeling of disquiet because quite frankly, I did not want him to go, I was enjoying his presence in my life too much. I was still trying to tell myself that Jeremy could not possibly be sexually interested in a woman my age, and after all, he was of an age to almost be the son I might have had with my pre-Edgar lover. That being so, I continued to tell myself that my interest in Jeremy was entirely maternal. As you my reader will no doubt be quick to tell me, I was lying to myself, and I knew I was lying. My frequent feelings of sexual arousal when he was close, and his presence as my fantasy during masturbation, clearly demonstrated my failed attempts at self-deception. Worse than the straightforward sexual attraction I felt for him, I knew. But it was that old mistake of parking alongside a post; then forgetting it was there when pulling away.The sound of the car’s offside grinding against the steel post had filled me with dread.‘Oh Christ! I had wrecked Richard’s big new car!’Taking his new car out for a spin had been an act of rebellion; but it had back-fired on me and Richard did not fall into the hen-pecked hubby category; no sir.He would have hit the roof simply learning I’d even taken it round the block! But I had one saving grace; he was away in Seattle on business.My husband’s new car could be made beautiful again before his return. He need never know how stupid his little lady wife had been.There was just one problem; it would show on my credit card bill which Richard checked out each month. Yes sir; he sure did.So I decided to do something unthinkable; ask my Father for money ~~It wasn’t called child abuse when I was a young girl.The age-old pedo-sex ritual was coyly referred to as being ‘interfered with’.But.
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